How Many Straws Does it Take to Get to the Last Straw?
[The following is an excerpt from TOP10 Marriage Tips for Smart Singes Part 3: The Two Makes & Two Lets. RELEASING THIS MONTH OF JUNE! Check out the entire series here.]
You may have been told, “you need to get over this.” You may have believed this is what good Christians do. They just forgive and forget. The former is certainly God’s will. The latter is many times impossible, without amnesia.
However, if you join any support group, go to any counselor, or simply confide in anyone about a problem, you can’t start with the issue at hand. It ain’t that easy. You have to give some background. You have to share your story. What makes the “last straw” the “last straw” are the bales of straw that came before it. You can’t just say, “I just took a sledge hammer to my boss’ BMW. What do you think my problem is?”
Many, many, many things led up to the point where you even considered entering the demolition business, much less actually bought the equipment and singled out your supervisor’s sports car for your first crack at it. You don’t have to go back as far as your birth experience, but if you want to figure out how you wound up in lockup (and the lead story on the evening news), you need to deal with the pain in your past.
Most folks who wind up on the 5 o’clock News never saw themselves there, even months prior. However, one thing leads to another; one event sets up the next; one choice creates new ones. Before they know it, their neighbors are saying things to reporters like, “They seemed so normal! I never would have suspected…”
Here’s an idea. Why wait until you are entertaining crazy ideas like embezzlement, drug dealing, or automotive abuse? Or if it’s too late for that, why wait until you get caught? Why not start looking into your past right now?
Want the simple answer? It’s another one of those “sayings”: “People only change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” That’s a pretty fatalistic outlook, but more often than not, it’s reality.
Sadly, most will wait until they’re stuck in a dead (or at least severely disappointing) marriage where they’re contemplating counseling, an affair, divorce, or all three, before they’re persuaded to deal with their past. Even then, most folks will just settle for the affair and/or the divorce and move on without ever seriously unpacking their personal history. And even those who finally submit to counseling don’t want to dig any deeper than necessary.
But that’s not going to be your reality. That’s why you’re walking through this study guide now. That’s why you’re going to make the decision to make peace with your past in the present.
Pain doesn’t have to be the only catalyst to change. You can be motivated much less painfully by wisdom.
[This blog is just an excerpt from TOP10 Marriage Tips for Smart Singes Part 3: The Two Makes & Two Lets. RELEASING THIS MONTH OF JUNE! Check out the entire series here.]
You may have been told, “you need to get over this.” You may have believed this is what good Christians do. They just forgive and forget. The former is certainly God’s will. The latter is many times impossible, without amnesia.
However, if you join any support group, go to any counselor, or simply confide in anyone about a problem, you can’t start with the issue at hand. It ain’t that easy. You have to give some background. You have to share your story. What makes the “last straw” the “last straw” are the bales of straw that came before it. You can’t just say, “I just took a sledge hammer to my boss’ BMW. What do you think my problem is?”
Many, many, many things led up to the point where you even considered entering the demolition business, much less actually bought the equipment and singled out your supervisor’s sports car for your first crack at it. You don’t have to go back as far as your birth experience, but if you want to figure out how you wound up in lockup (and the lead story on the evening news), you need to deal with the pain in your past.
Most folks who wind up on the 5 o’clock News never saw themselves there, even months prior. However, one thing leads to another; one event sets up the next; one choice creates new ones. Before they know it, their neighbors are saying things to reporters like, “They seemed so normal! I never would have suspected…”
Here’s an idea. Why wait until you are entertaining crazy ideas like embezzlement, drug dealing, or automotive abuse? Or if it’s too late for that, why wait until you get caught? Why not start looking into your past right now?
Want the simple answer? It’s another one of those “sayings”: “People only change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” That’s a pretty fatalistic outlook, but more often than not, it’s reality.
Sadly, most will wait until they’re stuck in a dead (or at least severely disappointing) marriage where they’re contemplating counseling, an affair, divorce, or all three, before they’re persuaded to deal with their past. Even then, most folks will just settle for the affair and/or the divorce and move on without ever seriously unpacking their personal history. And even those who finally submit to counseling don’t want to dig any deeper than necessary.
But that’s not going to be your reality. That’s why you’re walking through this study guide now. That’s why you’re going to make the decision to make peace with your past in the present.
Pain doesn’t have to be the only catalyst to change. You can be motivated much less painfully by wisdom.
[This blog is just an excerpt from TOP10 Marriage Tips for Smart Singes Part 3: The Two Makes & Two Lets. RELEASING THIS MONTH OF JUNE! Check out the entire series here.]
Labels: TOP10 Marriage Tips (Part 3: The Two Makes and Two Lets)
posted by Future Marriage University at
5:42 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home